I remember not wanting to get out of bed, but I had promised my kids I would play a game with them.
I remember not wanting to get out of bed, but Janine had been waiting for more than an hour to leave with me.
I remember not wanting to get out of bed, but our church service would be starting soon, and I was the pastor.
Depression is not predictable. I can shift from feeling full of life and energy one day to wanting to roll over in bed and avoid people the next.
But even in my dark moments, I have hope. Some days I choose to ignore it, but I can never deny it. I remember staring out my NYC apartment bedroom window years ago, asking God where he was, and why I felt like I did. He impressed upon my heart that he was there with me—that he would never leave me nor forsake me. Hope.
I often think of that moment when reading the words that precede Jesus’ Great Commission.
16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.
17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.
There’s speculation regarding who was doubting and why, but there is also clarity: some in Jesus’ midst doubted. Despite Jesus’ promise to meet them, despite being trustworthy and reliable, despite rising from the dead, Jesus looked upon worshippers and doubters.
When you don’t feel worthy, remember that Jesus has made you worthy.
That may not seem significant except for what he said next: “Go and make disciples of all nations…”
In Jesus’ final words to his followers, he commissioned both worshippers and doubters. He didn’t separate the “haves and have-nots,” the obedient from the disobedient, or the faithful from the faithless. He looked at his followers and handed them his keys to the kingdom. Regardless of their spiritual health at the moment, Jesus passed his baton of hope for the world and in doing so, communicated several messages:
- “I trust you.”
- “I believe in you.”
- “You can do this.”
Ever feel less-than?
Ever feel hopeless?
Ever feel ill-equipped?
Ever feel not quite ready?
Ever feel like Jesus is talking to the wrong person?
Ever feel depressed?
Jesus is calling you—me—us—to make disciples.
So when you don’t feel worthy, remember that Jesus has made you worthy.
When you feel ill-equipped and not quite ready, remember that Jesus will be with you and will speak through you.
When you feel hopeless or depressed, remember that Jesus is not caught off-guard. He knows who you are and your current state of mind, yet he will continue to cast vision for your life and remind you that you are part of his team.
Don’t stress. And don’t feel obligated. Instead, rest in the knowledge of God’s love and presence. Be empowered, comforted, and encouraged that you are his child and part of his family. You may not feel worthy, but God has made you so.
Click here for a short video on this same topic.
QUESTION (leave a comment below)
Have you ever seen God use you despite not feeling adequate or worthy?